The Porn Star, the Rock Star, and Me

I knew she was coming, and my business travel matched up with her visit. So, naturally, I had to go see her.

A porn star. In the flesh. Dancing on stage for me. (And some other guys. Whatever.)

Had I seen her work before? Oh yeah. Still photos, mostly. And a bio on HBO's Real Sex. And a flirty segment on Howard Stern. Still photos, mostly.

She's beautiful, of course. Tall. Tanned. Toned. Long, sexy, silky brunette hair.

But can she dance?

I was going to use everything I know about porn star feature dancing to maximize my experience. There is definitely an advantage in experience. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is success. I'll let you in on some of my hard-earned secrets regarding Feature Dancers.

Arrive early in the week. Most of the features that I've seen dance a Thursday thru Saturday schedule. So arrive early in the week while Dancer is new to the club and the rest of the crowd hasn't figured out how it all works yet. I showed up Thursday night.

Arrive early in the night. In my experience, features usually put on 3 shows a night. Let's say 10pm, midnight, and 2 am. Something like that. Again, your best chance to enjoy personal interaction with a feature dancer is to be up first. That means the 10pm show on Thursday night. I was there by 8:30 - learning the layout of the club. It was a chain club, well known with outlets around the country. The club was one large cavernous room with a main stage, a couple of satellite stages, a bar, and some high profile VIP areas roped off around each stage. There weren't many people in the club, given that a gorgeous porn star was about to take the stage. I sat off on the side at table for a while to observe the dynamics of the club. Not much going on, honestly. Most importantly, the main stage was completely open.

Get a center-front seat at the main stage. This should be basic common sense. However, it was evading everyone in the club. The DJ was doing his best to get the word out. "Come on guys, only 3 songs left. Pull up a chair and get that front row seat!". Nothing. Despite the DJ's pleadings, everyone was indifferent. Except for me - that's why I was there. I got up, walked over to the stage, and took a seat all by myself at dead center front. Everyone else is on their own. I'm ready for a great show.

Make eye contact. When Dancer comes out on stage for that first show in a new club, she's going to be nervous. Wouldn't you be? She's going to seek out a friendly face. I'm that friendly face. It's not faked. I'm there to see her. She's there to perform for me. I know I'm going to have a great time. I try to help her have one too. I give her feedback. Encouragement. Energy. It's the least I can do.

Tip bigger. Not extravagantly bigger. Just bigger. Here's the dynamics of it: guys have been tipping dancers on stage all night - $1 at a time. It takes them a while to switch gears a little bit when a porn star feature dancer shows up in front of them. Really, guys. This girl is famous. She's been all over the country. She's made some serious money. Is a $1 tip sufficient? Eventually, the tip rail will be crowded. Is a $1 tip going to get her attention at that point? Doubtful. Some guys up the ante a little and slide a couple or even five singles out on the stage. Good. But not great. If you want personal interaction, go bigger quicker. A $5 or a $10 is sufficient early on and it will stand out from all of the singles laid out around the tiprail. Try it. You'll see.

So. She was coming. I was in place with a plan. Not a conscious plan. Just experience. It was time.

After the usual DJ buildup and Dancer bio, she was there. Live. Onstage. In front of me.....

(Part II soon)